Abraham Lincoln: Cliché Horror Bullshit

This vampire hunter movie was the worst piece of crap i have seen in many a moon. Besides being a piece of obvious hero worship (Bordering on Lincolnite erotica), this movie has acting so bad it would make Sheri Moon Zombie snigger. Just one example is Dominic Cooper, who despite being actually British in real life, still manages to sound like a forced Sherlock Holmes impression and almost as un-english as the DJ who imitated the Queen and got past Kate Middleton's security.

I suppose my criticism may be partially due to my preference of Gen. Robert E. Lee over Lincoln, but that's a totally different issue. I've tried really hard not to allow my personal views to infiltrate this analysis, but have still found enough wrong with this movie that I don't want to get into the details. If i did attempt that, I'd be here all night and really can't be bothered.

I sincerely wish I hadn't watched the whole movie, but have a terrible compulsion to reach the conclusion to every story which I begin. It was painfully shit; and all I'll say is that an unrealistic Lincoln movie could have been far cooler. Wasted opportunity...

 

Mummified heart of a suspected vampire

Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood

I love 'B' and Cult movies like the 'Tales from the Crypt'
series and the Bordello of Blood is the best of them all. Slapstick, sex jokes, lesbians and gore. This movie has it all! Also it features a kickass soundtrack with songs by Anthrax and Sweet (Ballroom Blitz should be in every movie).

This is on my 'must buy' list as of right now...


This movie gets 4 stars out of 5