Abraham Lincoln: Cliché Horror Bullshit

This vampire hunter movie was the worst piece of crap i have seen in many a moon. Besides being a piece of obvious hero worship (Bordering on Lincolnite erotica), this movie has acting so bad it would make Sheri Moon Zombie snigger. Just one example is Dominic Cooper, who despite being actually British in real life, still manages to sound like a forced Sherlock Holmes impression and almost as un-english as the DJ who imitated the Queen and got past Kate Middleton's security.

I suppose my criticism may be partially due to my preference of Gen. Robert E. Lee over Lincoln, but that's a totally different issue. I've tried really hard not to allow my personal views to infiltrate this analysis, but have still found enough wrong with this movie that I don't want to get into the details. If i did attempt that, I'd be here all night and really can't be bothered.

I sincerely wish I hadn't watched the whole movie, but have a terrible compulsion to reach the conclusion to every story which I begin. It was painfully shit; and all I'll say is that an unrealistic Lincoln movie could have been far cooler. Wasted opportunity...

Happy Birthday Captain Spaulding!

Fuckin Mallrats

Snapshot: Listening, Watching, Reading, Wearing, Wanting

Listening: to Guns and Guitars by Matt Mason. Mean country beat and some killer lyrics, "can't say no cause they driven crazy by those soul singin', bullet flingin' men that won't mind the stars."

Watching: Tupac, Resurrection. This is the deepest thing i've seen in a long time and totally worth watching. The realest rapper in the world who narrates his own entire life. It's a pretty heavy watch and brings a lot of social issues into my mind. Hated by the general public for his violent lyrics but totally unapologetic and absolutely a product of society, Tupac is basically my hero. (This from some skinny, white boy) Despite being a total thug, Tupac Shakur was a genuinely intellegent guy and read the works of Sun Tzu and Niccolo Machiavelli.

Reading: My text books for the Health Sci course... its just homework.

Wearing: My scarf and thinking how much I will be thankful for it when it actually is Winter.

Wanting: To make a human connection, honestly. Also that I could get off my ass to hit up the gym.

"You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world dude, but they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you." - Silent Bob in Clerks

Priceless Advice(less)

"My advice, forget her, dude. There's one bitch in the world, one with many faces."
- Jay, Chasing Amy

Not Feelin' Too Hot...

First up, I have one of those motherfucking, eye-gouging, shit sucking, motherfuckin, asshole winter colds. Its driving me crazy over here!

Second, I stayed up with the guys last night drinking bourbon, smoking synthetic drugs/salvia and watching this. So i'm now tired as fuck and feeling doubly shit.

On the plus side, Reuben was running drunk through the dark last night and tripped over about three chairs at a fast pace on his way to the toilet. Then upon arriving there he ran full bor into the fucking door which opens outwards and split his head open in a 1.5 inch gash above his eye. It was brutal and he bled EVERYWHERE. I was actually suprised it stopped bleeding without stiches in it, but there you go.

Much Love,

Sam.

Dark, Darker, Darko

"What if you could go back in time, and take all those hours of pain and darkness and replace them with something better?"

I wish...

The New Earth Army

'The Men Who Stare at Goats' is a really cool film about the American army's attempts to create psychic super soldiers. These soldiers are to be new-age beacons of light and love in a world torn apart by war, they are soldiers of peace and love. The whole idea of the 'New Earth Army' as they are called, is so cool and true and... pure. It kind of made me want to start a cult and become a guru/revolutionary/intellectual. In the movie they were refered to as 'warrior-monks' and Lived a life of euphoria, mutual acceptance and enlightenment. I began thinking about how perfect it was. To live a life simply to teach and guide others seems pretty noble and if i still have any hope in humanity by the time i hit 30 i may just try it out.

Santiago & Dunbar

I fucking love this movie. Saul is the fucking reason i love wearing pajamas everywhere. There's one point when Saul and Dale are selling weed and Saul says "Tell them you got it from Santiago and Dunbar" to protect their identities. Me and my friend Joseph always used to laugh at that because his last name was Dunbar and I'm Sam. Plus he was my smoking mate. He was the only guy i knew back then who smoked and did weed. Hell, i was with him the first time i ever tried it.

Since he died in November I've been thinking of him heaps, especially recently. I think its just really setting in. I'm just glad I still have the memories. I think of him every time i smoke.

xoxo

R.I.P. Man, love always.

Dogma - Get "Touched" by an Angel

Above: The 'Buddy Christ', View Askew's replacement for the Crucifix

Kevin Smith is a genius. The dude who directed Clerks, Cop Out and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Created a masterpiece when he made this movie. Its funny, crude and surprisingly deep for a J & SB movie. Plus it has Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Selma Hayek and Chris Rock (as the 13th apostle who was left out of the Bible because he was black). It has a great plot and some wonderful sub-textual messages about life and the merits and shortfalls of organized religion.

I Give this film 5 stars out of 5